The Scottish View
of Global Warming

The changes in climate affect us in different ways:

40 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees Italian cars won't start.
Scots drive with the windows down.
20 degrees Floridians don coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
0 degrees New York slumlords turn the heat on.
Scots have a last picnic before it gets cold.
-10 degrees People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
-20 degrees Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
-80 degrees Polar bears begin to leave the Artic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
-100 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland put on a hat and scarf.
-173 degrees Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Scots are angered by frozen whisky barrels.
-297 degrees Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Highland cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460 degrees ALL atomic motion stops.
Someone in Glasgow says, "It's a wee bit nippy today, Billy...eh? "
-500 degrees Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup

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