The changes in climate affect us in different ways:
|40 degrees||Californians shiver
People in Scotland sunbathe.
|35 degrees||Italian cars won't start.
Scots drive with the windows down.
|20 degrees||Floridians don coats, gloves, and
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
|15 degrees||Californians begin to evacuate the
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
|0 degrees||New York slumlords turn the heat
Scots have a last picnic before it gets cold.
|-10 degrees||People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
|-20 degrees||Californians all now live in
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
|-80 degrees||Polar bears begin to leave the
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
|-100 degrees||Santa Claus abandons the North
People in Scotland put on a hat and scarf.
|-173 degrees||Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Scots are angered by frozen whisky barrels.
|-297 degrees||Microbial life starts to grind to
Highland cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
|-460 degrees||ALL atomic motion stops.
Someone in Glasgow says, "It's a wee bit nippy today, Billy...eh? "
|-500 degrees||Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup
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