Bedtime Prayers

FEMALE PRAYER:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

 

MALE PRAYER:

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
With huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Amen.


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