The changes in climate affect us in different ways:
Floridians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland sunbathe.
Italian cars won’t start.
Scots drive with the windows down.
Californians don coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
Arizonans begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
New York slumlords turn the heat on.
Scots have a last picnic before it gets cold.
People in Miami are extinct.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
Californians all now live in Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
Polar bears begin to leave the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland put on a hat and scarf.
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Scots are angered by frozen whisky barrels.
Microbial life starts to grind to a halt.
Highland cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
ALL atomic motion stops.
Someone in Glasgow says, “It’s a wee bit nippy today, Billy, eh? ”
Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in the World Cup